Rewrite a fact section by expanding critical details, cutting irrelevant ones, and adding strategic style choices.
The passage below has a common problem: it gives equal weight to every detail. Some dates and facts are recited mechanically even though they don't matter. Meanwhile, the details that actually matter to the dispute are glossed over.
Your Task: Rewrite this section using the notes below to guide your choices.
The Notes (what actually matters):
- The real dispute is about how revenues were to be shared
- Most dates are irrelevant — what matters is the sequence (shortly after signing → disputes → continued operating for months)
- The contract's key provision: revenues shared "proportionate to how much work each party was doing on each project"
- The parties disagreed about how much each was contributing
- Despite two early arguments, they kept working together for several more months
What to do:
- Reduce: Cut the mechanical date recitations (June 2, June 3, July 1) — use "shortly after" or "within days"
- Expand: Add detail about what the contract actually said and why it caused disputes
- Summarize: The August-November work can be condensed to show ongoing operations
- Style: Make it read like a story, not a police report
The goal: A reader should understand what this dispute is really about and why the timeline matters — without drowning in irrelevant dates.
Complete the exercise and submit for Write.law feedback